Why Are You Giving Your Child Piano Lessons?

Dear Parents,

  Why are you giving your child piano lessons? You may be asking yourself that as the winter holidays come to a close and no one has touched the piano. Let me remind you of some of the reasons you are doing this very good thing.
  1)You come from a musical family and the joy of music has is permanently in your DNA. No? How about these reasons:

  2) You always wanted your child to be bi-lingual and music is one of the most beautiful languages.
  3) Your child showed signs of musicality from the beginning.
  4) Playing and reading music is related to achieving intellectually.
  5) Musicians have skills in self-discipline
  6) You want a well rounded child and the piano is a stepping stone to other artistic endeavors.
  7) Playing the piano is a life skill which benefits others.
  8) You know your teenager will need an outlet for their fluctuating hormones.
  9) Your child needs to learn how others feel and playing music by different composers is a doorway into the soul of another human being.
 10) You don't want to hear your child say,"I wish you had made me practice and learn the piano."

   I cannot begin to count how many adults have said to me that they wish they had kept taking piano lessons. But, to date, no pianist has told me that they wished they had spent their time on something else.
So, chin up, lets go forward and listen to another semester of beautiful music.

Teaching My Own

     Teaching has become as natural as swimmingfor me. Now I have to explain that I swim seasonally, with great anticipation,and with some anxiety. I have to convince myself that my appearance isacceptable and get over the "what will people think" syndrome. Oncethat is under control I just jump right in and glide through the water, knowingthat I was meant to be there and pulling in all the sensory information I can.Teaching is exactly like that. I love diving into the depths of what I teach,but more satisfying is watching the faces of my students, looking for signs ofcuriosity, engagement, and delight. From thrashingthrough waves of "what should they know" has come the stillness of"what will they be".

     My own children have been the tadpoles for developing my teaching style. Oh, I went to college and learned the theorybut that did not make me a good teacher. Sitting tall on my own piano benchwith The Fidgeter, The Swooner, and The Sponge, was the real forge of my teachingability. The Fidgeter went on to dance lessons, the Swooner to the I-Pod, andThe Sponge learned all I had to offer and culled knowledge from several other competentteachers.

     Can a parent be a good piano teacher? Well, I thought the word parentand teacher were synonyms. If you have children, you must teach. But often aparent and child collide with differing agendas. Here is what I learned fromteaching my own.

     From The Sponge I learned to beconsistent, to listen to his heart, and to make him learn his notes. Beingconsistent was a difficult challenge. Habits were hard to make in my day to dayliving. In other words, I rarely did the same things day after day. My firsthurdle was finding a regular time for him to practice. I saw the power of holdingtime aside for piano every day. In that hour of the day nothing else was asimportant. The second hurdle was teaching him on a consistent day and treatinghim as a paid piano student with a scheduled lesson time. This young boy, TheSponge, was very quiet and mostly compliant. That sounds ideal, doesn't it?Actually, because he was not as vocal as my other children I found I had to paymore attention to his non-verbal signals. Learning to see into his heart becamepossible as I asked more open-ended questions and listened patiently. He had avery willing ear and wonderful short-term memory. Reading notes was too tediousso he memorized everything which served him well until he wanted to learnBeethoven. By this time we hired a piano teacher who gave him an ultimatum;learn to read notes or don't come back. I felt I had failed him. He told me hewas quitting on the ride home in the car. She had wounded his pride and I feltremorse for not being more dogmatic about drilling with those flash cards. Theharshness of her tactics did the trick. He proceeded to practice note-readingvia computer with a vengeance. After two weeks his musical life took a newpath. The code was broken and so he started sight-reading everything in hisgrasp. When he quickly proved that he did not need reminding to play, I facedthe challenge of biting my tongue and not telling him to stop practicing. Therecame the point when silence was more than golden; after hoursof teaching it was essential. We cleaned out a shed for The Sponge and put in a second piano. He became a wonderful pianist and a willing father as well.

      Now on Mondays I pack up my I-Pad, mystickers, some small candies for bribes, and colored pencils and go off toteach my grandchildren.

 I have three students in one family. It takes aboutthree hours because they like me to stay for lunch. I am applying the samelessons I learned with my own child. Teach them on the same consistent day,listen to their different needs, and drill those notes. I am more of a noveltyas a grandmother because I don't hound them all day long but it would be easyto get relaxed about the routine. I find that I must be stern about followingthrough with practice goals and I challenge myself to do the unexpected to keepthem interested. A puppet comes to visit now and then makes lessons playful andfull of promise. I see good follow-through on their parent’s part and I knowpiano lessons are valued in their home. In the future I'm sure I won't besaying,"Gee, I wish I had not spent so much time teaching my own". 

        Jumping right in and gliding through the challenges of being a mother and ateacher has made me a better instructor.I do care about what all my students should know, but I have a lot investedinto what my children and grandchildren should be. I hope music is a pathway toexpression for them and I hope music teaches them to have eyes to see, ears tohear, and hearts that are open to beauty.